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 Press Room's Cosmic Correspondent Kim Rogers-Gallagher has been invited to the planets' secret hangout. She's the first astrologer to enter this starry domain, and reports regularly on her findings there.

Cosmic Café Part Ten:
Mercury Retrograde

I waved to Jupiter as I turned to leave the Café, and smiled at the sound of his hearty laughter. He waved back, blew me a kiss and yelled, "See ya soon, babe."

I stepped outside the Café's door and was amazed to see Mercury skating toward me, looking more like Barry Manilow than Barry does. But wasn't Jupiter on the phone with Mercury at that very minute? "I thought you were…" I began, motioning back toward the bar.

Mercury skated in a circle around me, laughing delightedly. "Hey, I'm the God of Duality, remember, Astrology-Girl? If anybody can be in two places at once, it's me."

I had to agree. He certainly had me there.

"Uncle J told me to catch you before you got too far. He wants you to have this." He reached behind him—appropriately enough, since he was retrograde at the time—and produced another cell phone. "Here. Jupiter said it's just in case. You know how he gets when he's in Taurus."

I grinned and realized he was right. Even a planet as risk-loving as Jupiter tended to be a bit more cautious in Taurus. I took the phone from Mercury and stared down at it. "But don't I need a number? I mean, how am I going to call if I don't know the number?"

"No problem, doll. I programmed it in there for you. Just hit number one. Bye!" He winked, and began skating backward through the door to the Café, humming what sounded like an advertising jingle.

Suddenly, it hit me. He was retrograde. "Hey, wait a second. Let me make sure this is right."

Mercury was crushed—and since he was in sensitive Pisces at the time, his eyes welled up with tears. "You don't trust me? I'm the Messenger, for the God's sake!"

I felt bad immediately, but still, I knew I had to double-check the number. I was quite familiar with what happened when Mercury was retrograde and I hadn't done my homework. Misunderstandings, lost directions—you name it. Mercury retrograde was the inspiration for Murphy's Law. "I'm sorry. I don't want to hurt your feelings—but you're not only retrograde, you're also wearing Pisces." I reached out and touched his arm, and then pulled on my Jupiter in Libra to help me soothe him. "And it's really just me. Let's make sure I know what I'm doing."

He seemed a bit relieved, and nodded. "Okay. Well, here." He pulled out his own cell phone. "Dial me up, girlfriend."

I hit the number one, and his phone rang. He tossed me an I-told-you-so glance and backed into the bar. "See?"

I felt a bit silly—but I was still glad I'd double-checked. "Sorry, sweetie," I said, but Mercury was gone—and so was the Café. An abandoned convenience store magically stood in its place, and the door was sealed shut. I blinked and shook my head, but as I reached my car (which, miraculously, started up on the first try), I glanced back, and could have sworn I saw light coming from under the door. I smiled to myself and drove home, yawning. Talk about a big day.

As soon as I got in bed, I pulled the cell-phone out of my purse and tried it. I punched the number one, and waited. Within seconds, Mercury answered. "Oh ye of little faith," he said, but at least he was laughing now. "Hey, I've got some messages for you."

Go figure.

"Neptune says to have a bubble bath if you can't sleep. Venus says to put some music on. Jupiter says not to worry about anything—that he'll take care of you. And Pluto says not to tell anybody what happened here."

I sat straight up, rudely disturbing my cat, who tossed me a dirty look as he leapt off the bed. "Pluto's there?"

"No," Mercury said. "The Dark Dude never actually comes here himself. He sent one of his boys by with the message."

I swallowed hard and felt cold. Then, just a little too quickly, I said, "Oh, sure, hey, tell him no problem. No problem at all." Jeez. I wasn't about to aggravate the Lord of the Underworld.

Mercury, of course, read my mind. "Oh, he's not so bad once you get to know him."

I begged to differ. After all, I was human, and my kind was never very good at facing Pluto's topics—death in particular. But Jupiter's promise to protect me made me feel secure, and I smiled at the thought of him. "Tell Jupiter I love him," I said.

"He knows, hon." Now get some sleep. The phone went dead. I placed it on the nightstand and pulled the covers back up over my head. My cat jumped up on the bed as I yawned. Apparently, he'd decided to forgive me for moving when he was comfortable.

As I drifted off to sleep, I wondered what kind of dream Neptune would send me.

Next Week: Neptune's Dream


Read the entire Cosmic Café Saga.
Cosmic Café Archive



Kim Rogers-Gallagher is a well known columnist, lecturer and author of Astrology for the Light Side of the Brain and Astrology for the Light Side of the Future(ACS Publications).

Send an email to the author.

For more information about Kim Rogers-Gallagher, click here.

Other StarIQ articles by Kim Rogers-Gallagher:

  • Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman: Far and Away   3/30/2001
  • Lucy Lawless: Xena's Last Stand   3/4/2001
  • Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger Call It a Wrap   1/29/2001
  • George W. Bush: The Next Four Years   1/20/2001
  • General Colin Powell: An Aries With a Mission   1/17/2001
  • David Letterman Does Have a Heart   3/24/2000
  • Bond. James Bond.   3/15/2000
  • A Match Made in Heaven...or Venus   3/3/2000

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