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 Press Room's Cosmic Correspondent Kim Rogers-Gallagher has been invited to the planets' secret hangout. She's the first astrologer to enter this starry domain, and reports regularly on her findings there.

Cosmic Café 40:
The Mars-Saturn Showdown

As Jupiter stood with his arms around the Moon, rocking her with a gentleness I'd never seen him display before, Mars took over the argument with Saturn. I couldn't believe my eyes. Two powerful planets, both of them in charge of enforcement in one way or another, facing off—and all this from the comfort of my living room! Who'd end up with the upper hand?

Mars, apparently, had this one. Saturn stood, straightened his uniform and looked Mars straight in the eyes. He adjusted his hat and walked stiffly to the door. "Don't start something you won't be able to finish, Mars."

Oh, boy. What a comment. It was true—kind of. Mars never was famous for being an expert at finishing things. He was much better at using all that red-hot initiative to start things. But in a battle? And in a fixed sign like Leo?

"I'm perfectly happy to finish this any time you like, Saturn. You want some of this? Let's go. Outside. Right now." Yes, that was perfect. In a fixed sign, Mars was certainly ready to finish something, especially when it came to his favorite sport—war.

Saturn didn't answer. He closed the door quietly behind him, and was gone. The battle of the super-powers had ended. Venus ran to Mars, wrapped her arms around him, and said, "Oh, baby, you were soooo brave! You're my hero!" He grinned proudly, and patted her back. She kissed him passionately, and I once again felt the urge to look away.

But who'd won? Then it hit me. No one had won, because none of them were any stronger than the other. They all had plenty of power—it was just different kinds of power. Jupiter was intimidating when he was angry because his anger—like everything else about him—knew no bounds. Saturn was just as intimidating, however, because of his control, and his complete confidence in his convictions. Mars was certainly as aggressive as his reputation made him out to be. After all, he'd actually gotten Saturn to leave.

And then there was Venus, with her own special brand of power. You could see just how potent it was by the pleased look on Mars' face as she doted over him, congratulating him on being the victor. Whether or not that was actually true didn't matter, either. She made him feel as if he'd won by being his own personal cheerleader. And even the Moon had amazing power. She'd stopped the argument simply by showing her feelings.

And let's not forget Mercury, who was coaxing my cat out from under my bed as the tape rewound. He had his own kind of power. The power of communication. He'd made it possible to see the fireworks, even though I hadn't actually been there at the time of the battle. He was awfully proud of himself, too.

"So, whaddaya think?" he asked, standing. "Great show, huh?"

I had to grin. Mercury just couldn't get serious, even though he was wearing Scorpio at the moment. And how wonderfully appropriate for Mercury in Scorpio to play "detective." He must have just loved taping this gigantic battle—especially since no one knew he'd done it.

"Yes, it sure was," I said. "But is the Moon okay now?"

He waved his hand. "Sure. Jupiter had her giggling in no time. He was telling her jokes and tickling her, and she ended up baking him something. It all worked out. It always does. We're just like any other family—sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose. There's always going to be arguments every now and then."

"I can't help feeling a little bit bad for Saturn," I said to Mercury. "He just seems so lonely. He's always by himself, and nobody loves him."

"Oh, now, don't go getting sentimental on me, girlfriend," Mercury answered. "He brings it on himself, and he wouldn't have it any other way."

"I know," I said, "but he really is just doing his job. Really."

"Yeah, well, somebody's got to be a hard-ass," Mercury agreed. "It's just that he enjoys it so much."

I laughed out loud at that one. "I guess you're right."

"Besides, next week is Thanksgiving," he said, "and we'll all be together at the Café. Even Pluto. Chiron said he'd stop by, too. You're coming, right? Don't make me tell the Moon you're busy."

I hadn't thought about that. It really was almost Thanksgiving, and as per, I had no plans. Or did I? What better way to spend the holiday than with my cosmic "family?"

"Tell her I'll be there," I said. "With bells on."

Mercury hugged me, made me promise to call if I needed anything and said Jupiter would be by to pick me up for dinner next Thursday. He left the video—and I have to admit, I've watched it several times since then. Who needs Cops when you've got a real-life clash of the titans on tape?

Next Week: Thanksgiving dinner with the whole fan-damily

Read the entire Cosmic Café Saga.
Cosmic Café Archive



Kim Rogers-Gallagher is a well known columnist, lecturer and author of Astrology for the Light Side of the Brain and Astrology for the Light Side of the Future(ACS Publications).

Send an email to the author.

For more information about Kim Rogers-Gallagher, click here.

Other StarIQ articles by Kim Rogers-Gallagher:

  • Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman: Far and Away   3/30/2001
  • Lucy Lawless: Xena's Last Stand   3/4/2001
  • Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger Call It a Wrap   1/29/2001
  • George W. Bush: The Next Four Years   1/20/2001
  • General Colin Powell: An Aries With a Mission   1/17/2001
  • David Letterman Does Have a Heart   3/24/2000
  • Bond. James Bond.   3/15/2000
  • A Match Made in Heaven...or Venus   3/3/2000

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