StarIQ.com's Cosmic Correspondent Kim Rogers-Gallagher has been invited to the planets' secret hangout. She's the first astrologer to enter this starry domain, and reports regularly on her findings there.

Cosmic Café 44:
Mercury Discusses the Election, and the Café Is Decorated for the Holiday

Mercury and I were sipping a glass of eggnog, obviously spiked with a good dose of rum. It was wonderful—and quite heady. I was waiting to hear what he had to say about the election's outcome.

"Well…it's like this," he began. "First of all, Mars is in Libra, right? Which means both sides of the contest are equally strong—nobody has an edge. So I was just doing my job, making folks vote so evenly across the country that you're virtually split down the middle in all departments."

"Yeah, but we only get one president, sweetie," I said. "How's this going to be resolved?"

"Well…I started it, but I'm not so sure I'll be finishing it. It's a battle, right? So I think Mars is really involved in this—but then again, so is Jupiter, and Saturn. Not to mention Pluto."

"Pluto?" I asked—then nodded my head. I remembered my trek through D.C. with Pluto a while back, and the lecture he'd given me about power as he pointed at the Capitol dome. Yes, indeed. This was certainly a power-struggle of epic proportions—a distinct symptom of Pluto's obsessive touch. But Pluto moved sooo slowly. How would his presence determine the outcome?

Mercury read my mind—of course—and lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "I'll be meeting Pluto for our yearly conjunction on December 12—and when he gives me a message to deliver, it's a big one. Very intense stuff, girlfriend."

"So is that it?" I asked. "December 12 is D-day?"

"I dunno." He answered. "Who knows what's on Pluto's mind, right? But I think we're going to be having quite the conversation that day. And with Venus and Jupiter in a trine, it's going to be a big one."

Just then, the Moon appeared. She was in Gemini that day, in the mood to dash around and do errands. "Mercury! Grab this box for me, would you?" Her arms were full of boxes marked “Xmas decorations,” reminding me that at the center of all this was the fact that we were right smack dab in the middle of a holiday season. "Enough with the election! Let's decorate!"

I spent the evening at the Café with the chatty pair, helping them to hang lights and decorate a gorgeous artificial tree. When I asked the Moon why they didn't have a "real" tree, she went off into a typically Gemini dissertation about how wrong it was to kill a tree—for any reason. Yes, that made sense. The Moon loved all creatures equally—trees included. The last thing we hung was mistletoe. Mercury laughed as he climbed the ladder and pinned it up over the door. "Venus would have my head if I forgot this," he said.

As it turned out, she wasn't thinking about love—at least, not personal love. Venus stayed outside with the crowd until well after dark, showing her love for her cause—and for the man she knew her beloved Bill Clinton wanted to succeed him. She never saw the mistletoe when she came in, arm and arm with Jupiter, obviously revved up in air-sign style at the commotion they'd caused. They gave each other a high-five, and went over to the bar.

Neptune appeared, smiling. "Ready for a cocktail, my darlings?"

"Ready, gorgeous!" Jupiter answered. "I'm thinking 'tis the season for some spiked eggnog—whaddaya think, Venus?"

As if the Goddess of Creature Comforts could ever say no to something sweet. "Absolutely, Big Guy." She slid into the stool next to him, and glanced over at me. "So how was your evening with your birthday date?"

"Great," I answered. "In fact, there have been several evenings. You did good." I hugged her, and she beamed.

"Yep. If there's one thing I can do, it's make a match," she said. "Want a drink?"

"Got one," I said. I noticed that Jupiter was in the back of the Café, fiddling with the television. I wasn't surprised to see that he'd turned on CNN—a station Jupiter just had to love. CNN dealt with the big picture. Politics, national and international issues and the news—all under Jupiter's jurisdiction. I finished my eggnog, and Neptune refilled it right away.

Mercury went up to Venus and hugged her. "Hey, beautiful," he said, "Got time for a quick smooch? I put up your stuff, you know…"

She grinned, turned to look at the mistletoe and jumped off her stool. "Let's go, sweetie! It's time to ring in the season!" They danced over toward the door. Mercury dipped her in lavish style, but just as he was about to kiss her, the door opened, and two dark figures came in. It was Saturn and Pluto, both dressed in black suits, black shirts and black ties.

Uh, oh. This looked serious. Mercury and Venus retreated quickly to the bar. "You owe me one," he said.

"You got it." She answered.

"Aw, jeez, just when you think it's safe to come out," Jupiter said.

Saturn and Pluto took seats at the end of the bar, and Neptune served them. Saturn had black coffee, of course—and Pluto had a large glass of straight scotch. The Café was silent. Suddenly, Pluto cleared his throat. "We have an announcement to make," he said, in a voice that meant business. "Get out your pen, my dear," he said, glancing at me.

Oh, boy. This was going to be big stuff. Pluto never handled anything that wasn't. I fished through my purse and pulled out a pen and a notebook.

Never let it be said that I'd argue with the Lord of Darkness…

Next Week: Saturn and Pluto Talk Politics With Jupiter and Venus