Cosmic Correspondent Kim Rogers-Gallagher has been invited to the planets'
secret hangout. She's the first astrologer to enter this starry domain,
and reports regularly on her findings there.
Saturn and Pluto Talk Politics with Jupiter and Venus
I sat at
the bar with my pen poised, ready to take down Pluto's pronouncement.
The lights in the Café blinked merrily—but the atmosphere was anything
night at 9:00 pm, Al Gore will concede the election," Pluto began,
but before he could get another word out, Jupiter pounded the bar—hard.
No way! I won't stand for it."
I had seen Jupiter lose his temper before, and it hadn't been pretty.
I reached around him and patted his back. Venus linked her arm through
his, a perfect cosmic picture of the easy, comforting trine they were
locked into that day.
Jupiter, you don't have anything to say about this," Saturn said.
stood up, knocking his barstool over backward, and just about taking
Venus and me with him. The Moon stood at the door to the Café's kitchen,
wiping her hands on her apron and carefully watching all parties concerned.
Neptune disappeared—no surprise. She'd never liked confrontation.
what?" he said. "I don't have anything to say
about this? Is that right?"
up, too. "That's right, Jupiter," he said. "Not this
face was bright red. If he'd been human, I would have been worried about
his blood pressure.
"It's time for a change, Jupiter. Mortals have to do that every
now and then," he said. "You'd serve them all better by helping
than by having a temper tantrum. Your job is incorporation, not segregation.
Do you understand what I'm asking you?"
folded his arms and listened—but his face was still flushed. The Café
was silent for a moment. I scribbled a word or two, as I'd been commanded—but
I knew I wouldn't be forgetting this evening anytime soon. "Yeah,
I understand," he said. "You're asking me to get the mortals
rallied behind a thief."
I glanced at each other and winced. Saturn wouldn't like that comment,
guaranteed. Or the next one. "The guy's an idiot, Pluto.
He can't speak! And you're telling me I've got to sit through another
six months in Gemini, listening to him? I mean, I thought Quayle
was bad—this guy's got him beat."
spoke quietly. "Jupiter, you can't take sides in this thing. It
won't help. I'm not going to sit here and bash your candidate, regardless
of what I think of him—and you shouldn't be bashing anyone either. There
are no perfect humans. No matter who won this election, the opposing
party would have been seen the same way. We all need to help bring them
back together again, on the same side."
Venus spoke—and amazingly, all the gods listened. "But what about
the trees," she said, quietly, "and the animals. What's going
to happen to them if we start drilling in their territory? Isn't our
job to help all the living creatures on Earth? Not just the humans?"
"No, Venus, we can't help the humans or the animals. Or hurt them.
It's not in our hands. We don't run this planet—humans do. And they
have free will, remember? How many times have you set up a couple you
knew were perfect for each other, but one or the other of them refused
to make changes so the relationship had a chance?"
it's not fair," she said, quietly. "It's just not fair."
I could tell she was about to cry.
Jupiter's mood seemed to soften. He put his arm around Venus, and rubbed
her shoulders. "Shh, baby, it's okay."
am I going to tell Bill? I promised him I'd do everything I could,"
did, Venus, you did," Jupiter said. "That was you out there
with me tonight handing out brochures, right? We may be the benefics,
baby, but we can only do so much. And then," he sighed, "like
Pluto said, it's out of our hands." She covered her face and began
to weep. In a split second, the Moon in fast-moving Gemini was at her
Pluto," Jupiter said. "So what do you want me to do?"
you do best," the dark god answered. "Bring them together.
Incorporate them. Remind them that they're all Americans, citizens of
the most powerful place on this planet. Help them to realize that nothing
lasts forever—at least, not in its original form. Now, I know power
is my department, and I'll help as much as I can. But you know how they
feel about me."
Jupiter said, smiling at last, "I think it's the death thing, dude."
Dark humor was his favorite—and he was proud of the immensity of his
job description. Even Venus grinned a little. "Okay, Pluto,"
Jupiter said. "You've made your point." He walked over to
the dark pair and stuck out his big hand. Saturn took it first.
fought one hell of a battle, Jupiter."
you too, Saturn." Then he turned to Pluto.
will you put aside your personal feelings and help?" Pluto said.
sure, 'course I will," the large god answered. "Even if I
don't like it. Okay?"
shook hands. "Done, then. Now I've got to get up to Washington
to pass out some power." Pluto swallowed the remainder of his scotch
and walked out the door, disappearing into the night.
stood. "I have things to oversee also." He marched out of
the Café, leaving Jupiter standing alone at the bar, staring out the
window. He was silent for a moment, then turned to Venus and me and
said, "So how about those 49ers, huh?"
broke, and all the planets laughed. Neptune reappeared behind the bar,
a fresh pitcher of eggnog in her hand. I sighed and hugged Venus.
Mercury snapped his fingers, and the jukebox began to play a Christmas song.
"Let’s have a holiday smooch, beautiful," he said, winking
and embraced him. He dipped her in quite lavish fashion, and they kissed.
We all applauded—and then Mars came in. "Mercury!" he said.
"Step away from the lady, please."
helped Venus to her feet—quickly—and let go of her. He obviously didn’t
want to mess with the jealous passion of the god of war—and since Mars
was in Libra at the moment, he was primed to fight for his partner if
need be. "Sure, guy," Mercury said. "Just ringing in
the season, you know?"
him a meaningful glance, and extended his hand to Venus. "Come
on, babe. It's time for a field trip." She went to him, and as
they headed out the door arm in arm, I heard him say, "I know where
they grow mistletoe, you know..."
Week: Mars Enters Scorpio—and the Plot Thickens