StarIQ.com's Cosmic Correspondent Kim Rogers-Gallagher has been invited to the planets' secret hangout. She's the first astrologer to enter this starry domain, and reports regularly on her findings there.

Cosmic Café 47:
Mars in Scorpio

Mars removed his jacket, folded it neatly and draped it across the bar. Venus picked it up immediately and buried her nose in the collar. "Mmm, baby," she said, "I just love this aftershave." I had to smile. Venus in Pisces would certainly be easily wooed by a sweet-smelling man. Pisces is ultra-sensitive, romantic and easily enchanted by pleasing sights, sounds and scents—especially if they happen to belong to their beloved.

Mars reached over, gently took her chin in his hand and kissed her, another long, passionate kiss that made my rather conservative Venus in Capricorn cringe. Public displays of affection always did that to her—to me, I mean. I sipped my wine, and looked the other way. "Thanks, babe," he answered, "but watch the lipstick, okay? On the jacket, I mean. I'll watch it on that gorgeous mouth of yours…"

Oh, yeah. Talk about smooth. Take one part Mars and one part Pluto, the planet that "owns" Scorpio, and what do you get? Fire, passion and magnetism, all rolled into one sexy package.

"Mmm. Kay, baby," she answered, once she'd gotten her breath. She rested her face on her delicate hands and smiled at him. It was obvious that this gorgeous, seductive god had her completely enthralled. She absolutely couldn't take her eyes off of him—and he was loving it. Although Mars and Venus had always been lovers, they were both in water signs now, an astrological trine that basically meant they were getting along even better at the moment.

Still, there was no doubt as to who was in charge here. Pisces is one of the four mutable signs, and mutable signs have no problem taking direction. Scorpio, on the other hand, is a fixed sign, a powerful combination of emotion and determination. It is plenty potent enough to take over any situation—subtly, silently and invisibly.

Suddenly, the door burst open, and Uranus was there. He pointed at the street, his cold, blue eyes wide open, then disappeared into thin air. My celestial friends and I got up to see what was going on but, as per usual with Uranus, we weren't at all prepared for what happened next. The wind picked up, the skies turned black—or was it green—and bolts of lightning began to cut jagged slices through the sky. And there was something else, too, a sound I didn't quite recognize. Like something absolutely huge was growling out there—a frightening, low growl that eventually turned to a rumble. It sounded like…a train?

Before I had time to realize there wasn't a train station for miles, a huge storm cloud that looked way too close for comfort had begun to spiral. Suddenly, I knew exactly what was going on—and I was both terrified and wildly excited. A tornado. I was about to see my first tornado. My own tight Mars-Uranus square had always been fascinated with extremes of nature, and since it was being triggered by Mars' return to the exact degree he was in at the time of my birth, this "double-dose" of volatile energy had conjured something I had always wanted to see. I'd even considered taking a "storm chasers" vacation a few years back.

Apparently, that was no longer necessary. The spiraling cloud tightened up, and debris began to whirl around it. It quickly turned into a funnel—a huge funnel. Objects of all kinds flew through the air. A bicycle, a barbeque grill and something that looked like a convertible's top. A second or two later, the funnel touched down just across the street from the Café, neatly missing us, but leveling the entire block of buildings in front of us. My heart pounded wildly in my chest. I wondered if I'd ever felt more alive.

Suddenly, Venus began to cry. "Was anyone hurt? We've got to go see if any animals are hurt!" She was just about hysterical, and trying to pull away from Mars.

In typical fixed-sign mode, however, he held on to her, holding her little chin in his hands, staring straight into her eyes. His voice was calm and quiet—and impossible to ignore. "Shh, baby, shh, shh," he said. "It's okay. It's okay. You know how you always say I have x-ray vision? They were empty, baby. The buildings were all empty. No people, no animals, nothing. Okay?"

By the time he had finished, she had stopped crying. "No animals?"

He pulled a red silk handkerchief from his pocket and wiped her eyes. "No way, babe. Nothing. Not even a skinny old rat." She giggled, sniffled and blew her nose.

Mars turned to me, grinning. "Nice work there, spark plug. Very nice."

"Did I do that?" I asked.

Mars held on to Venus and smiled. "Well, I certainly didn't. You're the one with the Uranus square, aren't you?"

"Um, yeah. But I can't create a tornado."

At that, Mars laughed. "You can't, huh? Remember, my dear, you own me. And what is it that you tell your students about me? That Mars in Scorpio has the ability to do anything—absolutely anything—once it sets its mind to it. Apparently, you set your mind on a tornado. I just provided the extra dose of impulse you needed to get the show on the road."

"Wow," I said. It was all I could say. I had come to the Café in search of…well, I'd been in search of some advice from Mars about how to handle this energy, hadn't I? I should have known. Mars in Scorpio craved adrenaline. He wouldn't tell me anything—he'd offer me a life-and-death experience to get to know my own energy. And he certainly had. This was one Mars return I wasn't going to forget in a hurry.

He draped an arm across my shoulder, once again sending a sexual tingle through my body. I shivered. "Happy birthday, baby," he said.

"Um, no." I answered, a bit confused. "It's not my birthday."

"It's your Mars birthday, babe," he answered. "I'm right here with you. Right on top of you, you might say," he added, grinning devilishly and winking. "So let's celebrate! Back to the bar, ladies! Neptune, light those candles, and get us a bottle of champagne. My girl here just created her first tornado!"

I had to laugh—but it was a nervous little laugh. The jukebox suddenly lit up—by itself, of course—and the sensual music of Enigma began to throb throughout the Café. Mars went behind the bar, poured himself a shot and threw it back. Then he returned to his seat between Venus and me, put an arm around each of us and squeezed us to him. He narrowed his eyes and whispered, "You know, ladies, what we've got here is every man's fantasy. What do you say we head over to my place?"

I elbowed him playfully, and glanced over at Venus. "Every man's fantasy?" I said. "What about every lady's fantasy? You got any brothers?"

He drew back, pretending to be shocked. "Well! I can see it's going to be an interesting evening, ladies."

"Not so fast, darlin'." I answered. "I've got Venus in Capricorn, remember? That's one partner at a time, my man. You're taken—and besides, after what we conjured tonight, this is the closest I'm getting to you. I don't have health insurance."

Venus giggled and toasted me. "Good one, girlfriend."

I settled back into my chair and sipped my champagne. Happy birthday, indeed…

Next Week: More Intrigue With Mars in Scorpio.