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Dear Jill:

I was born on January 23, 1973, at 10:21 am in Eugene, Oregon. I have recently ended a three-year relationship in which I directed very little energy toward my own needs. This wasn't obvious to me until it was over and now I find I have much more energy and freedom to do whatever I want, feel whatever I want and be on my own schedule. I am enjoying this for now but know that it will eventually get old and am wondering what my relationship prospects are for the next couple of years.

Thanks, Luci

Dear Luci:

You are a complex woman, with a lot to analyze in your chart. However, I hate to even mention that word, because your chart is so airy (cerebral) that I don't want to encourage you to over-analyze, which you probably do already! You have no water (emotion) planets in your chart. Don't worry, that doesn't mean you're feeling-free by any stretch of the imagination. (I have no air in my chart, and I don't sound like an idiot do I? Well, moving on…)

You've got Mars, planet of sex and passion, in devil-may-care Sagittarius, which does make you a bit of the (to quote a Liz Phair song) “f*@k and run” type. But, wet-blanket Saturn is opposite your Mars, which gives you the equivalent of half a conscience. You may not step out on your lover, but you sure do fantasize about it!

Also, Luci baby, you have Moon in Libra, the sign of love, art and harmony. So even though your Sun is in argument-picking, independent, progressive Aquarius, your inner nature (that's what the Moon represents) is a big ole mushy romantic sap. In addition, you have volatile, sexy and intense Pluto (which is conjunct your Moon) and unconventional, contrary Uranus also in Libra, hanging out near your Seventh House cusp (the "doorway to your house of love"). Both Pluto and Uranus are the big "change" planets. Pluto refers to your own process of self-transformation while Uranus is more about how you can change the world or others.

With both these planets in gentle, people-pleasing Libra, I suspect you may have a lot of conflicts about being in a relationship once the honeymoon phase is over. Meaning, the Libra part of you is incredibly charming, and accommodating, but the Aquarius/Uranus part of you likes to shake things up, and in some ways would rather be alone or just have good friends rather than feel "watered down" and constricted by your partner. The way your Aquarian/Uranian side might battle against your Libran side is by doing this: building up anger and resentment and withdrawing into your own head (and analyzing the situation to death without allowing yourself to FEEL your fury) and then deciding you need a huge, abrupt sweeping change in your love life.

The way I see it you certainly WILL have love again (and I'll tell you more about when in a moment). Your charming Libra planets virtually guarantee it. The question is, what KIND of a lover/relationship do you want? That's what you need to ruminate on (and hard) right now, during this interim period in your romantic life.

Your Ideal Love Situation

Since Uranus sits in your Seventh House of love, I say use this frictious planet, or lose it. What you need in your life is a most unconventional relationship. The kind that years from now, friends will say "My God, I never knew a relationship could be like that. You two are such an inspiration." Basically what I'm saying is you need a partner in crime, someone you can break the traditional rules of love, sex and marriage with, but with complete honesty and integrity.

This person could be the one to push you to try some pretty funky stuff, be it a menage a trois or a menage-a-even-more-people than that! Sometimes people with strong Libra energy act so sweet and good, that they have to sneak around back eventually so they can express their "bad" side. For you, I see the kind of relationship that's totally open and truthful but that is absolutely different from the "norm" that society, your parents and all "in the box" thinkers might predict. The details of what it looks like? That's up to you (and your future mate) to imagine and create, but I have a feeling some bondage and a Catholic schoolgirl outfit are involved.

So, When?

I suspect your love life may go through an exciting, passionate transformation about a year from now. In November 2001, Pluto will begin to move over your Mars (planet of sex and passion) in your Ninth House of travel, higher education and philosophy. It's likely that you could be immersed in a relationship with someone from another culture (or who was raised in a radically different way than you were). It would certainly be a great time to travel and be open to taking more emotional, romantic risks than you usually do.

What I mean is this: instead of being so damn accommodating in the beginning of a relationship, let your contrary side show! Be open about how supposedly difficult you are. Let your anger out. And be open to a lover who is scary and thrilling because you can't just charm him into submission. The only way to make this relationship work is to show who you are, dark side and all.

Pluto goes directly over your Mars at the end of 2001/beginning of 2002, so by then I expect you'll be ready to take the biggest risk of all: admitting what you want romantically, and going after it, full throttle.

In the meantime, give yourself permission to be a little bit more, shall we say, slutty, than you usually allow yourself to be, especially during the first half of 2001. You see, in January, a lunar eclipse goes over your South Node (past lives), in the maternal sign of Cancer. I see this as your opportunity to fully play out your madonna/whore issues.

By the time you settle down in 2002, you'll have gotten a handle on your own demons, and can conjure them up at will, for maximum pleasure.

Good luck, doll!

Jill

Notes

Send relationship questions to Jill at ASTROJILLY@aol.com. Please include the words "Bedroom Astrology" in the subject line.

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Jill Dearman is the author of the gay best sellers Queer Astrology For Men and Queer Astrology For Women (St. Martins Griffin/1999). She has been professionally practicing astrology for twelve years and currently writes horoscopes for the national magazines Twist and Girlfriends as well as numerous papers syndicated via Q Syndicate. She has written about subjects from astrology to literature to film and theater in Mademoiselle, Publishers Weekly and HX. An excerpt from her upcoming novel, The Great Bravura, was featured in Best Lesbian Erotica 2000(Cleis Press). She also writes and produces films. The Village Voice called Dearman a "risk surfing playwright" whose work "shocks and rocks." She is a 1999/2000 artist in residence at HERE in New York City.

Jill is also the author of LoveCycles, an email-delivered guide to love and relationships based on individual birth data, available in the Shop@StarIQ.

Visit the author's website.

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For more information about Jill Dearman, click here.

Other StarIQ articles by Jill Dearman:

  • The Bedroom Astrologer 11-1-00   3/8/2014
  • These Men are from Venus   10/5/2013
  • Brendan Fraser: More Than Just a Pretty Face   4/27/2001
  • Sarah Michelle Gellar: Every Girl's Heroine   4/25/2001
  • Geoffrey Rush: The Moody Marquis   3/23/2001
  • Julia Roberts and Benjamin Bratt: Still Peaking   1/30/2001
  • Kate Winslet's Passionate Choices   12/29/2000
  • Helen Hunt and Hank Azaria: What Does This Woman Want?   12/5/2000
  • Bounce Star Ben Affleck: The Ball is in His Court   12/1/2000
  • Charlie's Angels: Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz and Lucy Liu   11/25/2000
  • Jim Carrey and Renee Zellweger: Dr. Seuss Meets Nurse Betty   11/17/2000
  • Dylan on Dylan   11/10/2000
  • Bono's Return to Roots of Rock   11/4/2000
  • Geena Davis and Bette Midler: Big Stars on the Small Screen   10/27/2000
  • Janet Jackson's Down-to-Earth Planets   10/21/2000
  • Gloria Steinem: Happy At Last   10/14/2000
  • The Strange Musical Path of Bjork   9/26/2000
  • Picture Perfect Couple: Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston   9/15/2000
  • Harrison and Michelle: A Return to Classic Hollywood   9/8/2000
  • Drew Barrymore: Happily Ever After At Last?   9/1/2000
  • Meg Ryan in the Middle   8/18/2000
  • Mark Wahlberg: Marky Mark is Back   8/12/2000
  • The Return of Cat Stevens   8/4/2000
  • Lou Reed and The Smashing Pumpkins: Piscean Themes   7/29/2000
  • Patti Smith: Her Gung Ho Comeback   7/21/2000
  • Rupert Everett: The Ultimate Gemini   7/7/2000
  • Angelina and Billy Bob: Hollywood's Mod, Odd Couple   6/30/2000
  • The Virgin Suicides: New Hollywood Meets Old Hollywood   6/2/2000
  • Opposites Attract On Screen   5/26/2000
  • Beatty and Bening's New Baby   5/19/2000
  • Aquarian Psycho   5/12/2000
  • Puff Daddy and Jennifer Lopez   5/5/2000
  • Chloe Sevigny's Scorpionic Exploration of Sexuality   3/25/2000
  • Water Signs Rule the Cider House   3/23/2000
  • The Tangled Web of Ripley   3/2/2000
  • Aries Grrrl Warriors: Where Will They Go From Here?   2/18/2000

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