Hard to believe, ladies and gentlemen—but true. Wisecracking, smart aleck, sarcastic David Letterman has a heart—and a good one, too. In fact, according to the cardiologist who performed quadruple bypass surgery on Letterman last month, it's "the heart muscle of a twenty-year-old."

Good thing, too. An angiogram found an irregularity in Dave's heartbeat on January 14. More tests revealed he had a clogged artery, too. Now, none of this would have made headlines back in the Home Office had Dave's dad not died of a heart attack at age 57, a major hereditary "red flag" that's prompted 52-year-old Letterman to be on his toes, health-wise—literally. He runs, eats a mainly vegetarian, low-fat diet and doesn't smoke.

How could someone who's the absolute picture of health end up with a heart problem? Well, it might have been Mom's fried bologna sandwiches, or the chipped beef she served up on Tater Tots. But, astrologically speaking, it may also be the fact that Dave has both the Sun and Mars in Aries. This stress-hungry, adrenaline-craving sign is the personal property of the planet Mars, who rules the muscles in the human body—and, of course, the heart is at the top of the list. Put both the fiery Sun and the red planet himself in this action-oriented sign, and there's no time to waste—no matter what's on the agenda.

Aries Motto: Take Action Now

So let's say you've got those two planetary fireballs in Aries, and you've got a potentially fatal heart condition, too. What do you do about it? Well, you do what comes naturally—you take action. You immediately schedule yourself for surgery. Not next month, next Tuesday, or even tomorrow morning. You set up the operation for that very day.

Impulsive? You bet. But there's really no other way for anyone with all that energy in Aries to handle things. This is the sign that's as hot, fast and spontaneous as a bullet, braver and more daring than any other. When there's a battle to be fought—whether the enemy is someone else, or your own body's weakness—Aries rushes in. They're the front-line warriors, the guys who stormed the castles back in Arthur's day. Let's get the show on the road. Now.

What is He, Psychic?

Now, astrologers don't usually plan much of anything without the aid of the planets. In fact, we often reach faster for our chart software than our calendars, no matter what we're setting up. As such, it astounds us that folks actually get married, climb aboard planes and vote for president without consulting astrology first.

Amazingly enough, however, if any one of us had been asked by Dave to set up a surgery date, we'd probably have made the same choice he did, because there were some favorable astrological factors in place. So how'd he "know" that the time was right? Or was he just acting on that Aries impulse thing?

Well, Dave was also born with cerebral Mercury in the sign of Pisces, which is classically known to be quite "psychic." Pisces planets run on intuition rather than facts. They "feel" their way around a situation, adjust their antennae, and make a decision. So it makes sense that this fast-acting Aries with his Mercury in Pisces would act quickly on his "gut" feelings—and that he really couldn't have chosen a better day to do it.

Jupiter, the King of Optimism, and the "Mood" of the Moon

It seems that on the morning Dave made his rapid-fire reservation for the OR, the Moon was in Aries. Take a sign that impulsive and push a planet as emotional and intuitive as the Moon through it, and you've certainly got the potential for snap decisions. But that's not all. Right around the time Dave was weighing the facts of the matter, the planet Jupiter was right next to the Moon. Since Jupiter functions much like Santa Claus, his presence near the Moon suggests a "positive ending" to an emotional decision—and so far, so good.

An Astrological Prognosis…

So what's the future look like for Dave? Well, you don't have to be an astrologer to know that there's nothing like illness to make you popular in the eyes of the public. Look what happened to Reagan's popularity after he was shot, for example. So The Late Show is already predestined to increase its ratings—no doubt about that. Astrologically speaking, that plays out, too. Jupiter, old Santa Claus himself, is sidling up to Dave's Saturn, the planet we examine for career indicators.

Physically, Dave looks like he's sounder than ever, too. He's just come through a major period of sudden change and major physical renovation—and both Uranus and Pluto, the planets who respectively rule those conditions, are on his side.

The downside? There really isn't one, astrologically. Still, if I were Dave, I'd be watching my back for the return of all the "victims"—um, I mean "guests"—he's mercilessly turned his warrior energies on over the years. You know what they say about payback, Dave. It's on the Top Ten List of things that are hard to swallow.