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Dear Jill:

Will the extreme passion in our sex life always exist? My birth data is December 16, 1973, at 11:47 pm in Rapid City, South Dakota. My girlfriend’s birth data is April 27, 1976, at 7:44 am in
St. Paul, Minnesota.

Ms. Sagittarius

Dear Ms. Sagittarius:

What amazed me when I first looked up your charts was this rare and unusual "Chiron connection" between you and your gal pal. And yes, from this point forward you will be known as "Ms. Sagittarius” (or Ms. Sag for short) and your girlfriend will be known as "Ms. Taurus." So, Ms. Sag, Chiron is an asteroid that represents a symbolic spiritual wound in the chart. Like a birthmark, we all have it somewhere! Unlike Saturn (a "tough love" kind of planet"), Chiron is all about understanding our wounds and healing them with love and empathy.

Your g.f., Ms. Taurus, has Chiron in Aries, and it sits exactly on your Mars, the planet that represents your sexual drive and physical energy. And sweetie, let me tell you before I go any further, Mars is at home in Aries (it rules the sign) so I'm sure a basic sense of horniness, like an old hound dog, is your usual M.O., whether you're single, in love or involved with three international models.

In addition to her Chiron hitting your Mars, your Chiron is widely conjunct  (same sign, close degree) her Venus, planet of romantic love. (Let's say the difference between Venus and Mars—forgetting Cybil Shepherd's silly new show—is this: Venus is the foreplay, Mars is the actual doin' it.) So it seems that sexual healing is one of the reasons the foundation for this relationship was laid (hee hee) to begin with. You both have the ability to heal each other's wounds in relation to your sex drive (maybe you've had a relationship before that ended in "lesbian bed death") and sensual pleasure (maybe she's had lovers who couldn't understand that she needs to be touched for hours in all sorts of adorable places, in addition to just doing the deed). It's really a mini-miracle that you met. You can heal each other in a profound (and sexy, sexy, sexy way).

Taurus Knows Best

As for your initial question, it's really Ms. Taurus who can keep this passion going for years, so follow her lead! You, my darling, have a chart that is heavily weighted with fire (lots of planets in Sag and Aries) and air (plenty of Libra and Aquarius planets, too). Fire and air have less staying power than water and earth. Fire likes to jump around from cutie to cutie while air gets a little bored and detached.

Ms. Taurus has a whole lot of earth (Taurus planets) and water (Cancer and Scorpio planets), which give her something that you may be lacking: patience and staying power! And remember that sensual stuff I talked about before in relation to your girlfriend? It's up to you to view her immense sensual desires as a challenge (and a pleasure!). Trust me kid, after a year you may get tired of pleasing her in twenty different ways before her clothes are even off, but it's up to you to dedicate yourself to her pleasure. If you ain't giving your all to her in bed after the proverbial honeymoon stage, you've only got yourself to blame! (I know you fiery types love a challenge! Hope that's a big enough one for you).

Rules of Attraction: Subject to Change

I talked about what you have to give, but you also have a lot to receive, young Ms. Sag. Here's why: your Mercury and Neptune, both in Sag, are conjunct Ms. Taurus' Seventh House cusp, also called the Descendant, and (I like to call it) "the doorway to her house of love." Mercury is the planet of communication, charm and wit, while Neptune is the planet of healing, dreams and imagination. Honey, there is no doubt in mind that you are a romantic inspiration to your lover gal. You're lucky because she is attracted to not just your mind (Mercury) but your soul (Neptune).

Here's the thing, though. Mercury (the root of the word "mercurial") is a quick-changing fella, while Neptune is all dreamy and moody and changeable in an emotional way. It's up to you both to build trust, and I mean with a capital "T," so that as you, and your relationship, change and grow, Ms. security-minded Taurus doesn't freak out. It's confusing, I know. She's attracted to your mind and soul, and to the way you are always changing and hard to pin down. Yet, over time this could become a threat to her too.

Your girlfriend has a lot of Taurus and Cancer in her chart, and those signs really hate to have their food dish moved. So try to use your communication skills to reassure her that you're there for her no matter what. Her attraction for you will always be there, so doesn't she deserve to hear the same from you in words…a lot?

Pluto, the planet of change and self-transformation has been hovering around her Seventh House cusp for awhile now, and lands there exactly from mid-November through December 10. Use that time to draw out her dark side and her deepest fears. If you can show her that her worst insecurities and most "perverse" fantasies don't make you want to run screaming from her but actually make you love her more, you can set a great foundation for a thriving, incredibly passionate sex life and love life with this chickie baby for years to come. Good luck, young Sag!


Send relationship questions to Jill at Please include the words "Bedroom Astrology" in the subject line.



Jill Dearman is the author of the gay best sellers Queer Astrology For Men and Queer Astrology For Women (St. Martins Griffin/1999). She has been professionally practicing astrology for twelve years and currently writes horoscopes for the national magazines Twist and Girlfriends as well as numerous papers syndicated via Q Syndicate. She has written about subjects from astrology to literature to film and theater in Mademoiselle, Publishers Weekly and HX. An excerpt from her upcoming novel, The Great Bravura, was featured in Best Lesbian Erotica 2000(Cleis Press). She also writes and produces films. The Village Voice called Dearman a "risk surfing playwright" whose work "shocks and rocks." She is a 1999/2000 artist in residence at HERE in New York City.

Jill is also the author of LoveCycles, an email-delivered guide to love and relationships based on individual birth data, available in the Shop@StarIQ.

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For more information about Jill Dearman, click here.

Other StarIQ articles by Jill Dearman:

  • The Bedroom Astrologer 11-15-00   4/5/2014
  • These Men are from Venus   10/5/2013
  • Brendan Fraser: More Than Just a Pretty Face   4/27/2001
  • Sarah Michelle Gellar: Every Girl's Heroine   4/25/2001
  • Geoffrey Rush: The Moody Marquis   3/23/2001
  • Julia Roberts and Benjamin Bratt: Still Peaking   1/30/2001
  • Kate Winslet's Passionate Choices   12/29/2000
  • Helen Hunt and Hank Azaria: What Does This Woman Want?   12/5/2000
  • Bounce Star Ben Affleck: The Ball is in His Court   12/1/2000
  • Charlie's Angels: Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz and Lucy Liu   11/25/2000
  • Jim Carrey and Renee Zellweger: Dr. Seuss Meets Nurse Betty   11/17/2000
  • Dylan on Dylan   11/10/2000
  • Bono's Return to Roots of Rock   11/4/2000
  • Geena Davis and Bette Midler: Big Stars on the Small Screen   10/27/2000
  • Janet Jackson's Down-to-Earth Planets   10/21/2000
  • Gloria Steinem: Happy At Last   10/14/2000
  • The Strange Musical Path of Bjork   9/26/2000
  • Picture Perfect Couple: Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston   9/15/2000
  • Harrison and Michelle: A Return to Classic Hollywood   9/8/2000
  • Drew Barrymore: Happily Ever After At Last?   9/1/2000
  • Meg Ryan in the Middle   8/18/2000
  • Mark Wahlberg: Marky Mark is Back   8/12/2000
  • The Return of Cat Stevens   8/4/2000
  • Lou Reed and The Smashing Pumpkins: Piscean Themes   7/29/2000
  • Patti Smith: Her Gung Ho Comeback   7/21/2000
  • Rupert Everett: The Ultimate Gemini   7/7/2000
  • Angelina and Billy Bob: Hollywood's Mod, Odd Couple   6/30/2000
  • The Virgin Suicides: New Hollywood Meets Old Hollywood   6/2/2000
  • Opposites Attract On Screen   5/26/2000
  • Beatty and Bening's New Baby   5/19/2000
  • Aquarian Psycho   5/12/2000
  • Puff Daddy and Jennifer Lopez   5/5/2000
  • Chloe Sevigny's Scorpionic Exploration of Sexuality   3/25/2000
  • Water Signs Rule the Cider House   3/23/2000
  • The Tangled Web of Ripley   3/2/2000
  • Aries Grrrl Warriors: Where Will They Go From Here?   2/18/2000

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